Lets Start The POKER Jokes

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck.
A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.
I asked him about this once and he replied,
"Well ... they won't let me shuffle the horses will they the bastards."

A Irishman was playing $10/$20 hold’em and was stuck about $300 down when he looked down beside the table and saw a little green leprechaun.
"Quit playing poker forever right now and I'll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars.", said the little fellow.
The player replied,
"Let me get even first."

A man comes home very late from a poker game to find his wife is standing at the door waiting for him with a rolling pin in her hand. Before she has a chance to say or do anything he says.
"Honey u have to pack, I lost u in a Poker Game "
She shrieks "how in the world did you do that".
Truthfully he replies " Darling it was really, really hard. I had to fold a royal flush."

Little Johnnie had just turned six and much to his parents' bewilderment, had never spoken.Not a word.
Johnnie's Grandpa, a well-known local poker player, was sympathetic to Johnnie's plight, and would take Johnnie with him whenever possible.
One regular bonding between grandpa and grandson was at the Elks Club Saturday night $10/$20 hold'em game.
Johnnie would sit on grandpa's lap and faithfully watch as grandpa regularly cleaned out the town council members, local attorney's and judges.

Alas, one Saturday night, grandpa seemed to be missing every flop, and was on the verge of tilt for the first time ever. Near the end of the evening in a capped pot, with grandpa on the button, he looked at his cards only to see 2-7 off. Furious at his run of bad luck, grandpa splashed the pot with a call.

Johnnie looked up at his grandpa and said, "You shouldn't have called that bet, papa."

Grandpa was stunned. "Johnnie, you're six years old, and these are the first words you've ever spoken!"

Johnnie looked at grandpa and said, "Well, up till now, you've been playing just fine."

lol n1 pomp

Judith walked into her living room and saw her brother playing Poker with their dog. "Amazing!" she sputtered. "This must be the smartest dog in the history of the world!" "He's not so smart," her brother mumbled. "I've beaten him three out of five games so far